It only occurred to me this evening, while I was attempting to program this website, how much I've allowed myself to fall into bad habits.

Or should I say, fall back into bad habits ... habits only arise due to repeated behaviours, which stem from beliefs, which of course stem from the decisions we make on a moment by moment basis. There's some great sayings on this subject, along the lines of "from thoughts come habits, from habits come destiny" or some such.

Anyway, regarding my bad habits. Programming a website is a highly technical matter. And while I was focusing on one particular aspect of this site tonight, which was proving especially difficult to set up, I realised that I was doing something for which I am not suited -- being a technician, or being too involved in the technical details. While our modern societies need a lot of technically competent people, my energy and natural ability is not suited to being one.

What struck me was that this habit of mine  - to dig into the technical detail and do it myself - dates back to my teen years, and early 20's. When I was at university and not particularly interested in the course I was doing (Electrical Engineering), I remember sweating over text books about thermodynamics, electrons and holes and not really enjoying it at all ... but thinking I had to persevere. Thinking it was what I was supposed to do.

Then I recalled working on my motorbike, which while getting a productive result that served me well for a number of years, still, it was time consuming and not really my forte.

All of this is central to a deeper issue I've had to face: that instead of being a "Belief Doctor" I've instead been more of a belief technician in recent times. Technically, I'm quite proficient in diagnosing the subtle and not-so-subtle errors in new-age philosophies, in science and in religion. Belief-systems for me are like the machinery of the mind -- easy to see where one machine (belief-system) is misfiring, or out of tune with the deeper rhythms and machinery of life.

But being a Belief Doctor is one that should come with a great 'bedside manner" and in that regard I've been, as explained, too much the diagnostician, too much the quick fixer, too much the "that there belief-system of yours is a bit wobbly, and here's why ..." and similar. To some extent some of this has been beneficial, but largely I'm realising my own knowing (that I wrote about in my first book) that the past, and those aspects of life we don't want, will fall away, the more we focus on what we want. Technically, it has to do with probable time lines, switching and jumping time lines and so forth. Some of the NLP practitioners do similar, but from my experience almost all don't yet appreciate the deeper machinery of the process of jumping. But I digress.

So then what of all these bad habits? They're largely due to not forming new stronger, and more energetic ones to create a new dynamic in my life. And why have I kept my bad habits? It's all about avoiding my energy, of failing to step up and own my space. I've been happy to tinker away on this website, to tinker away helping some friends with their businesses, but in reality, I've been avoiding my energy, and suffering as a result. Sure I have the knowledge, skills and experience to be doing workshops (which I find tedious, and a little condescending for recipients).

This website, though, and its focus on celebrating and sharing stories of achievement is one that fits with my natural inclinations. Of partnering with people in their success, not leading them or teaching or coaching them1, but simply helping them celebrate their energy, by sharing their stories of success in the face of difficulty.

1. 1. Not that there's anything wrong with that!